Waiting for Him Read online

  

  Hot Mess: Friends & Family 1

  Waiting for Him

  [The Stormy Glenn ManLove Collection: Alternative, Contemporary, MM, HEA]

  Clarke

  Officer Lyn Philips was too young for me, too inexperienced, and too naive for the things I wanted to do to him. Staying away from him was imperative, but it might take more control than I possessed. When Lyn is threatened, all bets are off.

  Lyn

  The man I wanted to create a life with didn't want that life, or me. After waiting an eternity for Sgt. Victor Clarke to make up his mind whether he wanted me or not, I decided to create the life I wanted, even if the man I was in love with wasn't going to be in it.

  When the carefully constructed life I had created was threatened, I had no choice but to call in the SWAT team, even if it meant letting Clarke back into my world. I just hoped I could let him go when the time came, because I knew it would. Clarke had made it more than clear that he didn't want me and nothing would change that, not even a threat on my life.

  Length: 41,000 words

  WAITING FOR HIM

  Hot Mess: Friends & Family 1

  Stormy Glenn

  

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  A SIREN PUBLISHING BOOK

  Waiting for Him

  Copyright © 2019 by Stormy Glenn

  ISBN: 978-1-64637-016-0

  First Publication: September 2019

  Cover design by Jess Buffett

  All art and logo copyright © 2019 by Siren Publishing, Inc.

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.

  If you find a Siren-BookStrand e-book or print book being sold or shared illegally, please let us know at [email protected]

  PUBLISHER

  Siren Publishing, Inc.

  www.SirenPublishing.com

  DEDICATION

  To Kat, who needed this book by her birthday. Sorry it's late. Happy Birthday!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Stormy believes the only thing sexier than a man in cowboy boots is two or three men in cowboy boots. She also believes in love at first sight, soul mates, true love, and happy endings.

  You can usually find her cuddled in bed with a book in her hand and a puppy in her lap, or on her laptop, creating the next sexy man for one of her stories. Stormy welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website at www.stormyglenn.com.

  For all titles by Stormy Glenn, please visit

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  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  WAITING FOR HIM

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  WAITING FOR HIM

  Hot Mess: Friends & Family 1

  STORMY GLENN

  Copyright © 2019

  Prologue

  Lyn

  "It's not you. It's me."

  I might have believed that if I hadn't been told the very same thing a hundred million times during my dating life. Well, maybe not that many times, but basically, every adult relationship I had ever had all ended with those fateful words.

  I don't know why I even bothered dating anymore. It was obvious that things like relationships, monogamy, and commitment weren't meant to be part of my vocabulary. Dreaming about them didn't make them happen. I was positive of that. I'd been dreaming for a very long time.

  I clutched my cat, Meep, to my chest and watched my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—Jordan Kershaw pack up what little items he'd brought to my apartment over the six months we'd been dating. There wasn't anything to say when the man walked out the door, not that I would have said anything even if there was. I knew better than to hold on to someone who wanted to be let go.

  I wasn't one of those people.

  Sorta.

  Jordan paused at the door and looked back at me. "You're a great guy, Lyn. I just…I'm not ready to settle down right now, and you are."

  Jordan was right. I did want to settle down. I wanted to come home to the same man every night, sleep by his side, and know I was going to grow old with him. One-night stands made me shudder.

  One of my best friends, Lany Delvecchio, was married to my SWAT commander. I had never seen two people more in love. They lived and breathed for each other. It sometimes felt as if Lany couldn't live without Sal and Sal couldn't live without Lany.

  That's what I wanted. I didn't think that was a bad thing until now. Now, I wondered if it was a fantasy that I would never realize. Maybe it only happened once a millennia or something, and Lany and Sal had been the lucky ones this time around.

  It certainly wasn't me.

  For a while there, I had thought maybe I could have something special with the second-in-command of the SWAT unit I served on, Sergeant Victor Clarke. For a couple of years we'd played a cat and mouse game until I finally understood that Clarke didn't do relationships. He was a one-night stand kind of guy.

  Sadly, he didn't even want that from me, and I was positive of that because I had offered more than once. Hell, I practically put myself on a silver platter. It did me no good. Clarke had said something about not messing up the delicate balance at work and made sure we were never alone together except for work.

  Whatever.

  I sighed as I watched the door close behind Jordan, knowing I would never see the man again. Sadly, the thought of never seeing him again wasn't as bad as the tight knot in my gut that came from knowing I was going to be alone again.

  I hated being alone.

  Maybe it was a good thing I had never taken Jordan to meet my friends. There had been plenty of invitations, but I had always put them off, saying maybe next time. Next time never came. Had I somehow known we weren't going to work out?

  Maybe I was psychic.

  Or just stupid.

  Maybe both.

  I sighed as I walked over to curl up in the chair by the window. Jordan had packed everything he'd ever brought to my apartment and walked out. In under ten minutes, it was as if the man had never even been there.

  I wasn't heartbroken, but I was close. And strangely enough, it had nothing to do with Jordan leaving me or even being dumped. I was just so tired of trying to find someone to call my own, especially considering I didn't think that mysterious person existed.

  My mind instantly went to Clarke.

  My heart started to ache all over again, and tears sprouted in my eyes. I angrily wiped them away. Dreaming of Clarke was getting me nowhere except neck-deep in more heartache. The man had made his choice about anything happening between us loud and clear. He didn't wan
t me any more than Jordan did.

  I was starting to think no one wanted me.

  Meep. He wanted me.

  I hugged my cat just a little bit tighter.

  I needed to rethink my life. I was miserable pretty much all the time nowadays. Going to lunch with Lany and Eddie seemed to be the highlight of my life, and how sad was that? Sure, I adored my best friends, but I wanted more than that in my life.

  I needed to do some hard thinking about what I wanted, what I could have, and how to find a happy middle ground. There had to be one, right? People didn't go through life getting everything they wanted, but there had to be some reward for being a good guy.

  I had to believe that or I'd slit my wrists.

  I sighed as I stroked my fingers through Meep's black fur. What did I want in life? Clarke was at the top of my list, but that wasn't going to happen. Under him on that list was simply having someone at my side, someone glad to see me at the end of the day, someone who loved me unconditionally. Someone besides my cat.

  I sat up straight as the proverbial light bulb went off over my head.

  I wanted a family.

  "Huh." I chuckled as the world's biggest epiphany sank into me. Hell, it damn near slapped me upside the face. I wanted a family, and nothing said I couldn't have one. Granted, I'd need to make some major changes in my life, give up a few dreams, but I could have the family I wanted so damn much.

  I already had a cat.

  I set Meep down on the floor then got up and went to get my laptop. I needed to do a little research and figure out the feasibility of what I wanted to do. What would it take to have the life I wanted?

  I surfed the internet, making notes and saving links to go back to later. I worked well into the early morning hours. It was a good thing it was the weekend and I didn't have to be to work for a couple of days. It had been a while since I'd seen the sun come up, but it was worth it. I had a basic idea of what I needed to do. It would take a little while, a few months at the very least, but it was doable.

  I smiled as I shut my laptop down. I still had a lot of research to do, and a crap ton of decisions to make, but I felt better now than I had in a long time. Granted, there was a part of me that was grieving the dreams I knew I had to give up, but for the most part, I was starting to feel optimistic.

  Instead of climbing into my big bed all by myself, I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch with Meep cuddled on my lap. I propped myself up enough that I could see the sun coming up between the apartment buildings down the street.

  I smiled, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders for the first time in a long time. If I couldn't have the future I dreamed about, I'd create a new one.

  Chapter One

  Lyn

  I swallowed down the lump in my throat before raising my hand to knock on my commander's door. This was going to be one of the hardest conversations I'd ever had. Not the hardest, but it was in the top two. Clarke basically telling me that I wasn't good enough for him had definitely topped the list, and I suspected it always would.

  My father always telling me I'd never measure up or be as good of a police officer as he was or those who'd come before me was right up there on that list, too, but not at the top. He was probably going to kick me out of the family for what I was about to do.

  "Come."

  I tried not to fidget as I opened the office door and then walked over to stand in front of Sal's desk. Considering my nerves were about fried, it wasn't an easy feat. I'd spent six months making plans and another two trying to get the courage to actually follow through with them, but here I was.

  I just might throw up.

  "Oh, hey, Lyn." The man's easy smile made me feel even worse. "What can I do for you?"

  I held out the envelope I had clutched in my hand. "I'm tendering my resignation, sir."

  "What?" The smile was gone.

  Crap.

  "I'm resigning, sir. This is my letter of resignation, effective immediately." I swallowed again, my throat tight. "I will, of course, give you two weeks' notice from today and train whoever you find to replace me."

  Sal stared at the white envelope as if it was a snake about to jump out and bite him. "Lyn, why would you resign? You love being on the SWAT team."

  I did love being on the SWAT team. I just couldn't do it anymore.

  "Personal reasons, sir." Ones I wasn't about to discuss with Sal, no matter how much I liked the guy. There were just some things a person had to keep to himself. At least, for now. I'm sure Sal would find out what I was up to the second I told Lany.

  "Did you finally decide to go back to being a street cop?"

  "No, sir. I'm resigning from the police force, sir."

  Wow, this was harder than I thought it was going to be.

  Sal stared at me for several very tense moments before asking, "Are you sure about this, Lyn?"

  Not really.

  "Yes, sir," I answered instead.

  "Very well." Sal took the envelope and set it down on his desk. "If you change your mind before your two weeks are up, you let me know."

  "I won't, sir."

  I just couldn't take it anymore, working around Clarke day in and day out, knowing I didn't measure up, knowing he didn't want me in the same way I wanted him. It was slowly killing me. I used to look forward to seeing him every day. Now, it just reminded me that I would never be good enough. Leaving was better for him and me.

  Mostly me.

  I doubted Clarke would even notice I was gone.

  "Where are you going to go?"

  "I have a job waiting for me, one that will benefit from my skills with computers." It wasn't the job I truly wanted, which was serving on the SWAT team, but I couldn't have everything I wanted. I knew that really well. I just wished I could have a little.

  The added benefits of my new position in the FBI's cyber crimes division was that it was a regular nine-to-five job. I'd no longer be on call twenty-four hours a day. It might not be as exciting as being a member of a SWAT unit, but I'd go home at the end of every day. That was the important part.

  "You've been thinking about this a while."

  I almost snorted. Sal had no idea.

  "Yes, sir."

  "Well." Sal sighed. "I'm sorry to see you go, Lyn. You've been a great addition to this team, and we'll miss you."

  I only wished that was true.

  "It's for the best, sir."

  "I'll need time to find someone to take your place."

  I already knew that. I handed Sal another piece of paper, having anticipated this. "On that list, you'll find a few names of officers who have the skills to take over my position on the team."

  They couldn't do everything I could do, but they were close.

  "Any one of them would be a good replacement, sir. I've fully vetted each of them, and even had Burke run background checks on them."

  It was nice to have friends in interesting places, especially the FBI. Supervisory Special Agent Miles Burke had been happy to run the background checks for me, but he asked for a favor in return. I was still waiting to find out what that favor was.

  Sal frowned.

  "One more thing, sir. I'd appreciate it if you kept this between us."

  If he didn't say anything until after I was gone, I'd be thrilled.

  Sal's eyebrows lifted. "You don't want me to tell anyone that you're leaving? You don't think the guys will figure it out?"

  I winced and glanced down at my hands, trying not to twist them together. "I know they'll figure it out at some point, but I'm hoping to avoid a lot of questions."

  Mostly because I didn't have a lot of answers.

  "I can hold off telling anyone until your replacement arrives," Sal replied, "but the others will figure it out when you start training whoever gets chosen for your position."

  Not if I could help it.

  "Fair enough, sir."

  "Have you told Lany yet?"

  "No, sir. I was going to tell him tomorrow at
lunch."

  "See that you do. I don't hide things from him."

  "I will, sir. Thank you, sir." I started to turn away then thought better of it. I had one more thing to say. "I want to thank you for giving me a chance on your team, Sal," I said, using the man's name for the very first time. Ever. "I learned a lot. I'll miss all of you."

  Some more than others.

  "I hope we'll continue to see you socially."

  "You will." I smiled despite the ache in my chest. There were a lot of things I was giving up for this new life I was creating. Thankfully, my friends would not be one of them. "I just need to make some changes in my life."

  "I suppose I can understand that."

  I seriously doubted it.

  I gave the man a nod then let myself out of his office. I closed the door and leaned back against it for a moment, drawing in a deep breath. Okay, that was taken care of. Now, I just had to tell my best friends what I was doing and then my family.

  I so wasn't looking forward to one of those meetings.

  Maybe both.

  I did feel some relief to have finally told Sal I was leaving. I'd been working up the courage to hand in my resignation for two months. It wasn't easy leaving a job I loved so much. I felt good working here, like I was making a difference. That wasn't something I really wanted to leave, but being on-call twenty-four hours a day didn't mix well with my future plans.

  I made a quick stop at the break room to grab some juice and a muffin then made my way to my workspace. My little area was a bit bigger than everyone else's workspace. I had more monitors and computer equipment.

  My job on the team was basically tech support, but I also made sure everyone had everything they needed right down to the flak in their flak jackets. It was a step up from when I first started when my job was basically to make sure each desk was stocked with paperclips.

  As a rule, I didn't tend to go out in the field when the unit was called into action. When I did, I didn't leave the command vehicle. All of my work was done from behind the scenes, and I was perfectly happy with that. I was not an adrenaline junky by any stretch of the imagination.