Waiting for Him Page 2

  I sighed as I sat down at my desk. I was going to miss all of this. I'd still be using my computer skills in the job I had waiting for me, but not like this. Here, each action I took had consequences. People's lives were on the line. One mistake could get someone killed, even one of my teammates.

  There was a part of me that was worried whoever took over for me wouldn't care about my team the way I did. I'd been with my guys for almost ten years now. That kind of mileage together made for strong bonds. Someone new wouldn't understand the things we'd been through together.

  I clicked a button on my computer when my email dinged. I quickly read over the email Sal had sent me telling me to set up appointments with the people I'd recommended to him. He also wanted to see the full backrounds on each officer before he met with them.

  That was easy enough. I'd already compiled files on each of the candidates I'd found. I refused to turn my team over to anyone who wasn't good at their job. Again, lives depended on them knowing their shit. I made sure each of the applicants I'd picked were fully vetted before I even added their name to the list I'd given Sal.

  When Clarke walked into the bullpen with the other members of our team, I couldn't help devouring him with my eyes. I was going to miss being able to look at him whenever I wanted to. I seriously doubted I'd see him once I was gone except if Sal and Lany had a get-together.

  Or Lany got hurt…again.

  If Lany got kidnapped…again.

  If Lany got into trouble…again.

  If Lany drove a car…and hit an elephant…again.

  Yeah, I'd probably see him more often than not, but not as often as I did if we continued to work together. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I had kind of wanted to make a clean break of things, but I realized that wasn't possible, not unless I moved across the country.

  Maybe not even then.

  I tore my gaze away from Clarke and finished up the files I was working on then closed down my computers.

  Yes, I had more than one.

  I gathered up my stuff, grabbed my jacket and laptop bag, then headed for the door. I really needed to get home where I could decompress and finish packing. Lany was going to lose his mind when he learned I was moving. He'd go insane when he learned why I was moving.

  I had strongly considered keeping my change of address from the man, but Lany would be pissed if he learned I'd moved and not told him. I did not want to be on the man's bad side. He knew people who knew people who made cement shoes.

  "Hey, Lyn," Officer David Wu called out to me before I could reach the large double doors that led out of our office. "A bunch of us are headed out for dinner and drinks. Want to join us?"

  I smiled over my shoulder. "Thanks, but I have plans."

  "So, bring him," Wu insisted. "We're still waiting to meet Jordan."

  God, was he out of the loop.

  "Maybe next time."

  Or never.

  I pushed through the doors before Wu could say anything else then hurried down the corridor. I passed the elevator and kept on going until I reached the stairs. The elevator was quicker. The stairs were quieter and less populated. I was hoping to make it out of the building without running into anyone else, or at least anyone who'd stop me and ask questions.

  I made it all the way down the stairs then out to my vehicle. Luck seemed to be with me today. Maybe because my day had started out so sucky, the cosmos was being kind to me. Maybe they thought I deserved a break.

  I knew I needed one.

  Changing the whole course of your life was not for the faint of heart. A lot of people thought about, and some even planned how to go about it, but very few followed through. I was determined to follow through, one way or another.

  My new life was waiting for me.

  Chapter Two

  Lyn

  I smiled and waved when I spotted Lany and Eddie sitting at our usual table at the Thai Rose. Sal had forbidden us to come to this restaurant ever again after we'd been there when the place was held up. Eddie had been shot, and Sal had gone ballistic.

  This was our little way of rebelling.

  I made my way through the other tables then sat down. "Hey."

  "What took you so long?" Eddie asked. "I was starting to think you weren't going to make it."

  "Well, I had something to pick up." I smiled, my insides doing cartwheels. I dug into my pocket and pulled out a key before setting it down in the middle of the table.

  "What's that?" Lany asked.

  "It's a key, Lany," I said without blinking. "They are quite popular nowadays."

  "Funny man."

  I chuckled before picking the key up again. "This is the key to my future."

  "Could you be any more cryptic?" Lany asked.

  "I've decided to make some changes in my life, and it starts with this."

  Eddie stared hard. "A key?"

  I grinned like a fool. "A key to my new house."

  Eddie's jaw dropped, which was better than the ear-piercing squeal Lany let out. "You got a house?" Lany asked. "How? When?"

  I nodded. "That's why I was late. I was signing the last of the paperwork and picking up the key." My grin grew as I wiggled my eyebrows. "Want to go see it?"

  I admit it. I was excited. I'd never bought a house before. I'd lived in apartments since moving out of the house I'd grown up in. Luckily, I'd been able to put down a sizeable down payment so my mortgage payments wouldn't break me. I was going to need the extra money.

  "Why'd you buy a house?" Lany asked. "I thought you loved your apartment."

  "I do, but…" I drew in a deep breath. Now for my other bombshell. "I'm having a baby."

  Lany's eyes immediately dropped to my stomach.

  I narrowed my eyes as I glared. "Seriously?"

  Lany grinned. "I thought maybe Jordan had knocked you up."

  Even Eddie laughed at that one.

  "Guys, Jordan and I split up months ago."

  "What?" Lany gasped before reaching over and smacking me in the arm. "Why didn't you tell us?"

  I shrugged. "It wasn't that big of a deal."

  I had liked Jordan, but I hadn't been emotionally invested in him, no matter how much I'd tried. It was more that I didn't want to be alone than any burning desire for the man himself. Jordan had been a nice guy. He just hadn't been the guy for me.

  "You guys dated for like six months," Lany said. "How could it not be a big deal?"

  "It just wasn't." I needed to get this conversation off my love life—or lack of a love life—and back on my new house. "So, who wants to see the new house?"

  "Where is it?" Eddie asked.

  "It's in the heart of the Abernathy neighborhood, right across from the park."

  "Oh, nice."

  "Right?" I'd spent weeks driving around the city, looking for the area I wanted to live in. When I found the Abernathy neighborhood, with all of its older stately homes and tree-lined sidewalks, I knew I'd found exactly what I had been looking for.

  It wasn't a luxurious upper-class neighborhood like where Lany and Sal lived, but it had well-cared-for houses for the most part. That the house I'd found was directly across the street from the park had just been a bonus.

  "It's a cross between a craftsman-style house and a farmhouse. It was built around 1920, but it's been totally updated inside. All of the floors were recently replaced with hardwood, and the kitchen was gutted and redone from top to bottom."

  "How many bedrooms?" Eddie asked.

  "Technically, there are four. One on the main floor and three on the second floor, but I'm going to turn the first-floor bedroom into an office."

  "That's smart," Eddie said. "Is it big enough for all your computer stuff?"

  "For the computer stuff, yes, but it won't fit the other stuff. I'm converting the basement into a workshop." I had considered converting part of the garage into my workshop, but it was too hard to have any level of security in the detached garage. The basement was better.

  "Does it have a yard?"


  "Not a big one, but yes. Fenced yard, detached double-car garage, screened-in back porch, fireplace, four bedrooms, three bathrooms, basement, and walk-in pantry off the kitchen." I smiled as I shrugged. "Everything a growing boy needs."

  Lany lifted one eyebrow. "Growing boy?"

  My grin spread across my entire face as I dug a picture out of my pocket. It was actually just an ultrasound picture and it was hard to really see anything, but it was all I had at the moment. I handed it to Lany.

  "Meet Christopher James Philips."

  Lany sighed as he took the picture and stared down at it. After a moment, he handed it to Eddie then looked at me. "When does he arrive?"

  "He needs to bake for another couple of months."

  Lany shot me stern look. "You're seriously going to have a baby?"

  "Seriously." My cheeks ached with how big my grin was. "I found Carrie through an agency. After talking for a while, and getting to know each other, we came to a financial agreement then went to one of those places where they mix up her eggs and my little swimmers in a big martini glass, and now we have a baby on the way."

  Lany's eyebrows lifted. "So, this really is your baby?"

  I nodded. "I thought about adopting, but the chances of a single gay man being able to adopt are slim to none. I didn't want to wait around years for someone to decide my being gay wouldn't adversely affect my ability to raise a child."

  "And this Carrie lady is just going to give you the baby once it's born?" Eddie asked.

  "She's a good person, Eddie. I had Burke check her out. She was raised by her father after her mother passed when she was ten. Her mother had a heart attack, so Carrie wants to go to college to be a doctor, a heart surgeon. She's going to use the funds I pay her toward her education. She's actually enrolled now, but she's taking online courses so she doesn't have to put any undue strain on the baby."

  Lany squinted at me then slowly shook his head. "I can't believe you're doing this."

  I stiffened from one breath to the next. "Why? Don't you think I could be a good parent?"

  "I think you'd make an excellent parent. I just don't think this is something you can do on your own."

  The problem was that I was on my own. No one seemed to want to build a family with me, and I was tired of waiting.

  "You know how many late nights everyone on the team works. How are you going to do that with a baby?" Lany asked. "Do you have a good daycare or a nanny?"

  I guess Sal had kept his word and not said anything to Lany.

  "I gave Sal my resignation yesterday."

  Lany gasped.

  I rolled my eyes. "I'm not disappearing, Lany. In fact, you'll probably see more of me. My new job is strictly nine-to-five. I'll be home every evening, and I have weekends off."

  Lany leaned forward quickly. "What new job?"

  "Burke helped me get a position in the FBI's cyber crimes division. I'll still be using my computer skills. I just won't be a police officer anymore."

  "You're resigning from the police force?" Lany asked.

  I let out a long breath before replying. "I need something different in my life, Lany. I've been trying for a while now to have something special, like you and Sal have, but I keep picking duds. So, I decided that if I couldn't find someone to build a life with, I'd do it on my own."

  "And you think buying a house, having a kid, and changing careers is going to do that?"

  It sounded silly when put like that. "I'm getting a dog, too."

  Lany stared for a moment then snorted. "A dog? You're getting a dog?"

  I grinned as I shrugged.

  "So, what can we do to help?" Lany asked.

  And that was why I adored Lany and Eddie. No matter what, they had my back.

  "Why don't we eat and then I can take you over to see the house? I'd also like you to meet Carrie and see how special she is."

  "Have you told your parents?" Eddie asked.

  "Not yet." I was putting that off as long as possible. "My dad is going to blow a gasket."

  "What about your mother?"

  "Once she learns she's getting a grandchild out of me, she'll be pretty happy." She'd been nagging me for ages to settle down. I was, just not the way she wanted.

  This was all assuming I didn't get kicked out of the family for quitting the police force. The possibility of that happening was pretty high, which was why I was trying to get all my ducks in a row before I told them.

  "You can't say a word of this to anyone," I said quickly. "Sal and Burke know, of course, but no one else does, and I don't want anyone to know, not until I'm ready to tell them."

  Lany's eyebrows lifted. "You plan to keep this from the guys?"

  I winced as I nodded. "That's the plan, yes."

  It was what I was hoping for anyway. I was counting down the days until my notice was over and I could walk away from the SWAT unit. My heart ached with each passing day, but I knew this was a choice I had to make for my own peace of mind.

  "And you really think it'll happen?"

  I smiled weakly. "I can hope."

  "Is it Clarke?" Eddie asked.

  The man saw way too much.

  "That's part of it," I answered honestly because I wouldn't dream of lying to my best friends. "I just need to make some changes in my life. Leaving the unit is one of them."

  "And having a baby is another one?" Lany asked.

  I ground my teeth together to keep from snapping at Lany. I knew he only wanted what was best for me. He just didn't understand that this was it. This was what I wanted in my life. A new home, a new job, and a new little someone who would love me unconditionally.

  I closed my fingers around the key then slid it into my pocket. At the same time, I pulled a wad of cash out of my other pocket and tossed it onto the table.

  "Lunch is on me," I said as I stood. I needed to get out of there before I said something I couldn't take back. "I have some things I need to do, so I'll see you later."

  Or not.

  If Lany couldn't accept my decision, then I didn't need him in my life.

  "Lyn, don't go," Lany said. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm just worried about you."

  "Why?" I demanded. "You adopted a crap ton of kids, and never once did I tell you that you were making stupid choices. I supported you at every turn."

  "Lany isn't saying what you're doing is stupid, either," Eddie pointed out. "But you have to admit this came out of left field. We had no idea you were doing any of this. You never said a single word."

  There was a tinge of hurt in Eddie's voice.

  "I know." I plopped back down in my chair. I felt like crap. "I didn't want to say anything in case I couldn't do it."

  "Are there any more changes you plan to make that you haven't told us about?" Lany asked.

  "No, that's pretty much it."

  Wasn't that enough?

  "So, again, how can we help?"

  I grinned. "Want to go see my new house?"

  Chapter Three

  Clarke

  I glanced up when someone knocked on my door. "Come." I smiled when the door opened and Officer David Wu stuck his head inside.

  "You ready to go?"

  I lifted an eyebrow. "Go?"

  Go where?

  "Yeah." David glanced down at his watch. "The party starts in about fifteen minutes. We should have just enough time to get there."

  "Get where?"

  What in the hell was he talking about?

  "Lyn's going-away party." David chuckled. "Did you forget, man?"

  I didn't forget. I knew nothing about it.

  "What going-away party?"

  The smile fell off of David's face. "Lyn is resigning from the force. Today was his last day. We're having a going-away party for him down at the bar."

  I sucked in a hard breath when something painful stabbed me in the chest. "Lyn is leaving?"

  How had I not known this?

  I jumped to my feet, pushed past David, and stormed across the hall to my commander's of
fice. I didn't knock. I just pushed the door open and stepped inside. "Why didn't you tell me Lyn was leaving?"

  "He asked me not to."

  I swallowed the cry of pain trying to break free. "He told you not to tell me he was leaving?"

  "He actually asked me not to tell anyone. He didn't want anyone making a fuss."

  "I'm second-in-command of this unit. Don't you think I had a right to know?"

  "Well, now you know."

  That was no answer.

  "Well, he can't leave."

  Sal's eyebrows lifted. "Why not?"

  "I need him…I…uh…the team needs him, I mean." I clenched my hands into tight fists, digging my nails into my palms. "What are we going to do without a tech expert?"

  It was a lame reason, but it was all I could come up with on the spur of the moment. My mind was fluttering with angry denial. Lyn couldn't leave, damn it. I couldn't have him, but I refused to give him up.

  "Already taken care of." Sal grabbed a file off the edge of his desk and held it out. "Lyn wouldn't leave us floundering. He vetted our new computer tech and trained him over the last couple of weeks to take over his position. He'll do fine once he settles in."

  My lip curled back as I took the file and flipped it open. I recognized the dark-haired officer in the picture. He'd been hanging around Lyn's desk quite a bit over the last couple of weeks. After quickly finding out that the man was happily married with a couple of kids, I'd dismissed him as a threat.

  I was stupid like that.

  "What do you know about this guy?" I asked, trying to find something to protest about him. On paper, he seemed good at what he did. Not as good as Lyn, but I doubted anyone was.

  "Joe seems like a stand-up guy. He has a couple of commendations for his work on the force. He was a beat cop until he was injured in the line of duty. It took him off the streets, so he found another way to serve on the force by using his computer skills."

  Damn it, he did sound like a stand-up guy. I wanted to hate him, but found I couldn't. Joseph Santiago was a decorated officer, hurt in the line of duty, and still serving. He would probably be an asset to the team. Not as big as Lyn was, but still an asset.